Really? I mean, seriously. … Really?

Okay, I’m not a quiet person.  I’m not.  Like, if you were playing a game called “SHUT THE HELL UP,” you would notwant me on your team.  I was always the last person to stop talking at slumber parties so the parents hated me (actually they loved me, but they did find me hard to handle come 3 a.m. when I was still HAHAHAHAAAAing myself to pisses), I always got “needs improvement” on my report cards in grammar school under the headings “practices self control” and “works without disturbing others,” and I talk customers’ ears off at work. 

But one place I don’t run my mouthconstantly is at church.  Sure, I may utter a “that was nice” after a sermon or something, but I certainly don’t blatantly turn around and run my mouth and talk about bar hopping and CHECK FACEBOOK ON MY iPHONE during COMMUNION.  This is what I saw on Easter Sunday.  This girl – no, not a girl – this woman - would not shut up.  And she talked about random shit that had nothing to do with anything, and I’m not sure that she was talking to anyone in particular.  While we were all, “Happy Easter – He is Risen!”, she was all, “He is Risen and OMIGOSSSSHHH BECKY TOTALLY GOT HIGHLIGHTS!”  If you don’t want to go to church, by all means, don’t go.  I won’t judge ya – I’ve said from the beginning that whether you believe in God or a Giant Squirrel who walks around in a diaper and hands out magical acorns, bless your heart.  But don’t go to church just to say that you went to church.  Because you went to church and acted like an idiot.  Thanks.

AND?  Speaking of idiots?  I was bullied at work today by a customer.  I mean, bullied.  The girl who worked my job before me messed up when she made the reservation for these people’s dogs, and they blamed me.  Which is fine – I mean, I’m really not one to be like, “Hey, it was someone else, not my problem.”  I really like customer service; I really strive to make everyone happy and comfortable; I want to keep them coming back.  So, to make up for the fact that this girl messed up and didn’t schedule one of their dogs to be groomed while they were boarding, I gave them two free baths and nail trimmings, and two free days of grooming.  (PS?  That means I took $100 off their bill, for the size that their dogs were; the grooming was worth about $45.  The grooming would have been, essentially, free.)  I didn’t expect “thanks,” but maybe a compromise.  Maybe?  Or, at least, “okay, I’m disappointed, but this will work.”  Alas, instead, I got “We’ve never had a problem with this place until you arrived.”  …Really?  Excuse me?  Because I totally, then, DID want to be all, “ACTUALLY, I’m not the one who made the mistake, I’m just the one taking CRAP for it,” but instead, I just said, “What else can I do to make this up to you?”  Wasn’t that nice?  Because I wanted to punch her teeth out.  THEN, they made a further effort to say AGAIN, “I’m just amazed that you’re the only person we’ve ever had a problem with.”  Sigh.  I would have groomed their dogs if I could have.  But I would have cut a nose off or something.  I’m no groomer.  I just love the dogs; I can’t make them look pretty.

But, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and so I will say that this snotty family made me appreciate the amazing customers we have.  Actually, that would be… most of them.  They’re all pretty nice; they’re all so damned proud of their dogs, and they should be — we have a couple of Katrina rescues that come in, one from the bad Iowa flood, one who’s a retired service dog, and one who’s a therapy dog at Edward Hospital.  Most of the owners are just sweet people who like to chat for a bit when they come in.  This business truly thrives on the fact that it’s not  a big business – it’s family-owned, and I love it.  My bosses are incredible people.  They’ve boarded dogs from the pitbull rescue for free; they’ve boarded rescue dogs from natural disasters, free of charge.  They just want to make sure the animals are taken care of. 

Coming from the company I used to work for, this is incredible to me.  The IT company was so Me-Me-Gimme-Me-Me-Me-centric that this is totally foreign to me.  In a wonderful way.

In other news, I think we’re about to make an offer on a house!!!  It’s a starter home, for sure, which wasn’t the original plan, but I think it’s the smart one.  It’s a 3-bedroom, though two of the bedrooms are pretty tiny.  There’s a modest family room, a nice eat-in kitchen, a HUGE fenced-in yard, a nice-sized family room downstairs that we hope to put a bar in and create some sort of Irish-Pub-Cubs-Bar-fusion thing in, and a huge laundry room that I thought only existed in my dreams.  1-1/2 baths.  I’m SO EXCITED!!!  The yard is great; the neighborhood is cool, it seems – pretty diverse, but it’s a lot of older people and young families, which is nice.  The carpet is new; the hallways and bedroom floors are newer wood.  It’s very nice space, incredible for the money, and the opportunities for upgrades are great.  We’d ideally like to redo the kitchen, though I’m getting ahead of myself.  If the roof is too old or the furnace too iffy, we’ll be passing.  But this is the closest we’ve come yet, so I’m excited!  We’ve also got our eye on this amazing townhome with a small, fenced-in yard and an updated kitchen, so there are options out there.  I’ll keep you posted! 

So, classless09 did a Bucket List.  I think I’m always considering mine; I suppose I’ll write it here.  I haven’t written it anywhere else, and writing it might set some of this in stone.  Some of these are more “goals,” I guess – maybe it’s the same thing – I’m not sure.  But I babble at you enough that maybe you’re ready to gain some greater insight into the madness that is me…

So, at the tender age of… have I ever told you how old I am?  I’ll be 23 on the 27th.  So, yes, at the tender age of ALMOST 23, here’s my bucket list – though I maintain the right to change it until my 30th birthday.  I just made up that rule. 

1. Teach.  I need to teach.  I must teach. 
2. Create a clothing line made from eco-friendly materials; donate all proceeds to Best Friends Animals Sanctuary.
3. Visit every state in the U.S.
4. Go to Belgium.
5. Perform live with Magatha Trysty (my band.  PS. My band is my husband, me, and kind of also our friend Dan, if he remembers that he agreed to play stuff for us.  We have good stuff.  Folk/Power Pop?  That’s what we are.  Obviously, the details are sketchy). 
6. Get published under my name (I’ve written stuff for hire, which means my stuff is out there in the educational world, because my stuff’s been used by some ed. publishing houses, but my name isn’t on it).
7. Compose a piano concerto.
8. Fly without fear.  In a plane, that is.  If I, myself, could fly, I’m not sure if I’d be afraid or not.
9. Have lunch with a musician I admire. 
10. Adopt a child.  (Chris knows about this.  I won’t just walk in the door with some strange kid someday.)
11. Flip a house.
12. Spend an entire summer in the northwoods of Wisconsin, where I’ve spent time every summer since before I was born.
13. Take our kids to Student Prince in Macomb, IL for a huge breakfast in the best greasy diner-y place ever. 
14. Buy my husband a first-edition Fitzgerald.
15. Publish an academic paper on the writings of D.H. Lawrence or Toni Morrison (my two favorite authors to study).
16. Perform in The Vagina Monologues again.
17. Pay my parents back, in some form, for all they’ve done for me. 
18. Organize a variety show for a nursing home.
19. Spend Christmas Eve in a pediatric ward at a hospital reading Christmas stories and playing with the children there.
20. Learn Spanish, Italian, and Japanese. 
21. Rent out a banquet hall and host a huge, black-tie-fancy-shmancy-party for no reason.
22. Raise healthy children.
23. Go on vacation with my mom.
24. Have a meal that I make be my “thing.”  As in, “oooh, she’s bringing that __________ that she makes so well!!!”
25. Interior design.
26. Brew my own beer.
27. Eventually teach at a small-town school and live out in the country on many acres.
28. Get to a point where I eat only vegetables I grow myself.  (Side note? My basil just died.  Sad day.)
29. Get an MA and Ph. D; focus on 20th century ethnic writings of the U.S.
30. Catch a kickass muskie.  (I know. My love of animals conflicts with this.  I fish.  A lot. I love fishing.  Sorry, PETA.)
31. Try a food I’m scared to taste.
32. NEVER ride a roller coaster.  What?  It’s just as much of a goal as actually RIDING one is.  I’ve never done it.  Never want to.  Do not give in to peer pressure, PoorReception.  Don’t do it.
33. Own an antique, upright piano.
34. Host a party for my church choir.  (It sounds boring.  But it’s not.  They’re crazy people.)
35. Conduct a choir.
36. Get more involved in politics without becoming a politician.

I think that’s it.  I guess I’m pretty boring, because many of these are actually attainable, which I think is partially the point.  If it was like, “Invent a flying car,” I’d be headed for disappointment, because, let’s face it, I majored in English.  Though I totally won the bridge-building contest in my high school physics class.  Because I’m the BEST.

As Classless09 asked in her blog, what’s your bucket list?

Also, what crappy people have you encountered in your jobs?  And what have you learned from them?  If you’ve learned nothing other than, “people are poo heads,” that’s okay.  That’s a lesson, right?

Speaking of lessons, I’ve learned that I CAN grow flowers.  At least I can grow them for one week.  I’ve got a gorgeous orchid blooming at work, and violas, pansies, lillies, and hyacinth blooming on the balcony.  Though the balcony flowers came damn close to drowning today in the freezing frigging rain that was pelting us.  PELTING. 

But my basil is still dead.  Dead, dead, dead.  It’s possible that my cat peed on it.  I’m going to set up secret cameras to find out.  Secret pee cameras. 

Yeah, I’m THAT girl.  The one with the cats.  Who sometimes pee.  On my spices.  If that’s how the basil died, thank Christ I didn’t eat it.  What a strange and pungent experience that would have been.